


Slips of Paper

by Im_trash_bye



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Sneaking Around
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2019-11-09 06:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17997002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_trash_bye/pseuds/Im_trash_bye
Summary: TJ Kippen has always held the title of Grant High’s Most Feared. When Cyrus is paired with TJ on a debate, he’s forced to spend far more time with him than he’d ever expected. Despite his parents’ rules and his friends’ advice, he finds himself taking a liking to his new debate partner. Unfortunately for both boys, Cyrus’s parents have never quite liked TJ Kippen.





	1. One

TJ’s knuckles stung as they connected with Zach Galison’s jaw; blood stained his hands and he wasn’t sure whose it was. Galison was fast but TJ had always been faster, his fist coming into contact with Zach’s nose as he barely missed a punch thrown at him. However, Galison knew what was coming; he threw another punch, this one hitting TJ square across the face and knocking him backward slightly.

“Fuck,” TJ hissed, one hand coming up to feel the blood on his face as the other moved to grab Galison by the arm. With a sharp twist, Galison was doubling over in pain, cradling his arm to his chest as TJ turned to walk away.

His face and hands were bloodied, his head throbbed, and when he spit onto the linoleum beneath his feet, blood came out of his mouth, but he couldn’t care less. TJ stalked toward the bathroom, unfazed by the blood on his face and the principal calling after him.

“Detention, Mr. Kippen!”

“Wow, shocker!” TJ called over his shoulder, rolling his eyes at the principal as he slid into the bathroom. Naturally, he walked directly into Cyrus Goodman.

“Oh! I’m so sorry- whoa.”

“It’s fine,” TJ mumbled, pushing past him and pulling paper towels out of the dispenser.

“Do you need help, or...anything?”

“I’ll be fine,” TJ said, running the paper towels under warm water and carefully wiping away the drying blood on his face. He hissed slightly at the sting, ignoring the way Cyrus gasped when he noticed the blood on his knuckles.

“Are you sure? Can I at least give you a band-aid or something?” Cyrus’s voice was careful, the verbal equivalent of tiptoeing over eggshells as he surveilled TJ’s wounds.

“Don’t worry about it,” TJ muttered, washing his hands. The bell signaling the end of lunch hour rang as he did; he couldn’t help but laugh as Cyrus jumped out of his skin at the sound.

“I should- I should get to class.” TJ nodded, raising his eyebrows as Cyrus scurried out of the bathroom.

“We literally have the same 6 th period.” TJ rolled his eyes, following Cyrus out of the bathroom and down the hall. He slid into his seat just as the final bell rang, earning a stern glance from his language arts teacher.

“Alright guys, listen up,” she called, quieting the room.  “As I said earlier in the trimester, our ‘final exam’ of sorts this tri will be a debate. You will each be assigned a partner, and each pair will go against another to argue an important topic, as assigned by me. You will be graded on preparation, teamwork, presentation, and the stability and validity of your arguments. You do not need to win to get a 100, but each winning team will get fifteen points of extra credit.

“There will be 8 debates, and each will get an entire class period to be executed properly. As in a traditional debate, you will be required to research both sides, and your stance will be determined by the toss of a coin. As none of us are actual debaters, each team will have a longer period of time than in a traditional debate. Each team will have 6 minutes for an introduction speech,  12 minutes to outline arguments, 5 minutes to conclude, a 5-minute break to prepare rebuttals, and 4 minutes for rebuttals.”

“Miss Ahlers?” Cyrus asked, raising his hand.

“Yes, Mr. Goodman?”

“How will our partners be assigned?”

“I’ve already randomly assigned them. In fact, here they are:” 

Mrs. Ahlers started listing topics and partners - abortion, gun control, climate change, banned books, animal testing, doctor-assisted suicide, the death penalty. Cyrus’s heart raced in his chest when he realized the next topic would be assigned to him.

“Gay marriage.” Mrs. Ahlers’s voice was clear and steady, but Cyrus was nearly sure she hadn’t heard her correctly. “We have Georgia Nelson and Callie Willings against Cyrus Goodman and TJ Kippen.” 

Cyrus couldn’t help but gasp slightly, catching the way TJ’s jaw dropped a little bit out of the corner of his eye.

“Alright, get to work!”

TJ collected his things and slowly made his way toward Cyrus’s table; he  _ had  _ to get that extra credit if he wanted to finish the trimester with his 4.0, but if he had to argue the con side, he wasn’t so sure he could.

“Hey, Cyrus,” he said, sliding into the seat next to him.

“Hi,” Cyrus squeaked, voice cracking. “Sorry, ‘m just nervous. If we get con…”

“I know.” TJ laughed slightly, ignoring the way the cut just beneath his cheekbone stung as he did. “Guess we’ll just have to win that coin toss. Or pray Willings and Nelson go for con?”

“At least the two of us are on the same side,” Cyrus said, sighing in relief. 

Okay, so TJ wasn't homophobic. Okay. He could do this.

“There’s one, uh, pro? To this situation,” TJ chuckled.

“Yeah, I guess so. Um, so, I have a pretty fast speaking rate, how about you?”

“When I’m nervous or determined? I’m goddamn Steve Woodmore,” TJ joked.

“Was that a Motor Mouth reference?”

“I- Yeah, it was.” TJ and Cyrus shared a small smile. “Anyway, we can probably get about 1000 words of intro if we talk quickly enough.”

“You should probably do intro, conclusion, and rebuttals? I can cover arguments,” Cyrus offered, opening a document and sharing it with TJ.

“Sounds fine,” TJ said, willing himself to push the smile off his face and turn back to his work. He quickly outlined the headers they’d need, for both pro and con, before turning back to Cyrus. “Where should we start?”

“From the beginning? I can do the pro intro, you do con.”

“I have to do con?” TJ scoffed, raising his eyebrows. “Then you have to do the conclusion for con.”

“The  _ con _ clusion?”

“Never say that again.”

“No promises.”

Silence fell over them as they stared at each other.

“Um, yeah, so we have a lot of work to do. We should probably hang out today?” Cyrus said.

“Y-yeah, okay.”

* * *

“My parents aren’t home yet,” Cyrus said, unlocking his front door and pushing it open with a sigh. “My room’s right upstairs, if you want to work there?”

“Sure,” TJ shrugged nonchalantly, following Cyrus up the staircase in front of them. 

He settled himself onto Cyrus’s far too large bed, leaning against the headboard and opening his computer. Naturally, his knuckles scraped against his keys as he pulled his computer from his bag.

“Shit,” he hissed, noting the blood appearing on his hands. Cyrus’s eyes widened when he noticed what was happening, and he was rushing to the bathroom before TJ knew what was happening.

“Here,” Cyrus said, gingerly dabbing at the blood welling on TJ’s knuckles with a wet washcloth. TJ grimaced when the cloth touched his hand. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” TJ whispered, glancing up and meeting Cyrus’s eyes. “Thank you.”

“Any time, I gue-” Cyrus was cut off by his bedroom door opening, revealing a heavily confused Leslie Goodman.

Her eyes widened when she saw what was happening; why the hell was her son spending time with TJ Kippen?


	2. Two

“What were you thinking?” Leslie asked frantically. She’d brought her son downstairs to ‘find some snacks’. However, she’d immediately turned to face Cyrus when they’d reached the kitchen. “You know we don’t approve of him!” 

“We got assigned together on a debate in language arts,” Cyrus defended. “We hang out a few times, put together a winning debate, get a 100 and those 15 EC points, and then it’s all over. Okay?”

“...Fine. Here, take him some muffins,” she said, pushing a plate of blueberry muffins into his arms and shooing him back upstairs. 

When Cyrus stepped back into the room, he found TJ standing at his desk, admiring the leftmost wall of his room. Much of the wall behind the desk had been adorned with pieces of paper; notes, journal entries, words he’d cut out of the dictionary, letters he’d never sent, drawings. Anything and everything that he’d wanted to keep was on that wall, crawling almost across the entirety of its length.

“You found my collection.” TJ jumped at the noise, turning to face Cyrus.

“I-” he paused to regain his composure. “Yeah. What's with the nameless love letters?”

“Uh…” Cyrus set down the muffins on his bed, joining TJ at the wall where he was running his fingers over an old letter.

“Old crush?” TJ asked. Cyrus glanced at him, noticing that the menacing layer covering TJ had melted away. 

“No,” Cyrus fibbed, reading over the letter. “Hypothetical romantic interest.”

“...Really?”

“Yes?” Cyrus tried. “Well…”

“That's a lie?” TJ offered.

“...Yes,” Cyrus admitted. “It was an old crush.”

“Who's the girl?”

“Doesn't matter,” Cyrus mumbled. “We should get to work.”

“Yeah, alright,” TJ conceded, sitting down and picking up a muffin. “They'd be better with macadamia nuts.”

“I wouldn't have pegged you as a muffin guy,” Cyrus said, sitting down next to him. 

“Eh. I‘ve got layers,” TJ shrugged.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, why?” TJ looked up to face Cyrus; when he furrowed his eyebrows, Cyrus could make out a scar above one of them. It looked new, like he'd just gotten it, but Cyrus knew it couldn't have been in the fight with Gallison.

“What happened there?” he asked, gesturing to the scar.

“Oh, nothing.”

“Now  _ you're _ the liar,” Cyrus pointed out with a small smile. TJ caught his eyes for a split second, the emerald green swimming in his eyes meeting Cyrus's. 

_ I guess I am. Am I okay with that? I am, right? I hope I am, because if not- _

“You okay?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah,” TJ said quickly. “I'm fine. We should probably start on the assignment.”

“Okay, then. Did you get done with your intro?”

“I'm about halfway through; arguing con is hard as fuck,” TJ said casually, the corner of his mouth twitching into a smirk when Cyrus's eyes widened at the word.

“Um, okay,” he stammered, opening his computer. “I just have to revise one more time, and then I can start working on our arguments.” 

TJ quickly agreed, watching Cyrus work out of the corner of his eye. He was hunched slightly over his computer, dark hair falling into his eyes. Every few moments, he'd use his non-dominant hand to brush it out of the way, still typing with his right, only for it to fall back into place. Every time he did so, he'd sigh defeatedly, only to repeat the process.

TJ found the habit inherently adorable, and despite his best efforts found himself staring at Cyrus. He looked up after a moment, meeting TJ’s eyes with a concerned smile.

“You good?”

“What? Oh. Yeah. I'm good. You have, um, you have a little…” TJ trailed off, carefully swiping a few muffin crumbs from the corner of Cyrus's mouth. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled, eyes flickering down to rest on TJ's lips. TJ couldn't help but follow his lead in setting aside their computers. He rested a careful hand on the back of Cyrus's neck.

“Is this okay?” Cyrus simply nodded, letting TJ pull him closer. He turned to face him, settling into TJ's lap. 

TJ gently connected their lips, smiling at the way Cyrus sighed into the kiss. He couldn't help but notice that Cyrus still tasted of blueberry muffins and, somehow, mint. The cuts on his face still stung slightly when he moved his lips, but kissing Cyrus was far worth it.

Light flooding into the room caused them to spring apart, Cyrus nearly falling off the foot of his bed. TJ quickly caught him by the arm, helping him back onto the bed. Cyrus buried his face in the worn leather jacket TJ was wearing at the sound of Buffy's voice, heart hammering in his ribcage.

“Cyrus?” she asked. She'd clearly seen them kissing, if the break in her voice indicated anything. Andi stood next to her in the doorway, eyes wide. 

“We- we were going to ask if you wanted to go for baby taters. Your mom sent us up,” she stuttered quickly. “We can just go.”

“No, wait, Andi-” Buffy protested, stopping the door with her foot when Andi tried to close it. “I'm not leaving now! He's kissing Toxic TJ Kippen! And  _ clearly _ his mom has no idea, or-”

“We are  _ right here,  _ you know?” TJ interrupted, one eyebrow raised at the nickname. He helped Cyrus sit back onto the bed from where he was nearly dangling off the mattress.

“Yeah we know, Kippen,” Buffy snapped, pushing the door open. Her voice dripped with disgust as she said his name.

“Seriously?” TJ asked. “What do you have against me?”

“Yeah, nope, I’m out. I’ll be downstairs,” Andi said, turning around and starting back down the hall with a sympathetic glance at Cyrus.

“Yes, seriously! You’re clearly not good enough for-” Buffy was cut off by Cyrus’s exasperated shout.

“God, could you just  _ shut up _ ? There’s nothing wrong with him,” Cyrus defended.

“Really, Cyrus? You’re defending  _ him _ ?”

“Could you keep it down? My mom’s going to hear you!” Cyrus pleaded. He took a deep breath, looking around. “Listen, just- TJ. Can you…”

“Go?” TJ filled in, nodding. “Yeah, I get it. I’ll talk to you later?”

“I’d like that,” he responded, unable to keep a soft smile off his face. “Can you tell Andi it’s safe to come up when you go down there?”

“Sure.” TJ left the room, eyes never leaving Buffy’s as he stepped around her.

“Jesus, Cy. You have so much explaining to do.”


	3. Three

“Listen, I just want to explain.” Cyrus sat back against his pillows, gesturing for Buffy and Andi to follow suit. He was soon flanked by his best friends, who were watching him intently. “ I…”

“Made a mistake?” Andi filled in.

“Made a colossal mistake?” Buffy corrected.

“Did not make a mistake. At all. I kissed a boy. Who I really  _ really _ like. How is that a mistake?”

“That boy was TJ Kippen,” Andi deadpanned.

“I know that. But I’m- I- I like him. As more than just a friend.”

“Wait, you…” Buffy said slowly.

“Yeah. I like boys. One boy, as of right now.”

“You know we love you, right?” Andi said softly. “And we trust your judgment.”

“Always,” Buffy agreed. “If he’s right for you, we get it. But, if he hurts you, I will kill him. With my bare hands. Or a knife. Weapon to be determined.”

“Thanks, creep,” Cyrus teased, resting his head on her shoulder.

“Any time. So… Spoon?”

“I think I’m gonna text TJ. We have to keep working on the debate, and I have to tell him you’re not actively gonna go cut his head off.”

“As opposed to passively committing a felony?” Andi asked.

“You are officially banned from this room,” Cyrus said, laughing despite the awful nature of the joke.

“No, I’m not,” Andi rebutted.

“Alright, alright, get going.”

“We love you,” Buffy said, squeezing him tightly before leaving with Andi. Cyrus smiled at the sound of his friends saying goodbye to his mom. He curled up, phone in hand, and quickly dialed TJ’s number.

“Should I find a cannoli?” TJ asked in lieu of greeting when he picked up the phone.

“What are you talking abou- Oh! Because he left the gun and took the cannoli.”

“Good to know you’re a film purist.”

“Always,” Cyrus assured him. “And no, I talked to Buffy and Andi. They trust that I trust you. And they get that I couldn’t have stopped myself from liking you if I tried.”

“You like me?”

“Well, I’m not in the habit of kissing boys I don’t have major feelings for. What, are you?”

“Not exactly. Considering you were my first kiss…” 

“Wait, seriously?” Cyrus asked, smiling into the phone.

“...Maybe.”

“That is adorable,” Cyrus squealed. “I can’t believe my boyfriend has never been kissed.” His eyes widened when he realized what he’d said, “I- I mean my friend. Boy friend. Guy friend. Friend who is male. Mr. Friend. Bro-”

“Cyrus!” TJ exclaimed, quieting him. “You want me to be your boyfriend?”

“I… am not opposed to the concept?”

“Okay. Listen, if we do this, we can’t really tell anyone. If you don’t want to do that, then I don’t know if I can do this.”

“No- wait. I can keep this a secret, Teej. I mean, I’d want to tell Andi and Buffy…”

“And I’d tell my twin sister.”

“They’d keep our secret though, right?”

“Right…”

“So, are you in?” Cyrus asked, a smile on his face.

“I’m all in, Cyrus.”

“Alright.” Cyrus’s voice was steady, but his heart was leaping and dancing circles around his ribcage as he grinned into the phone.

“Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow.” The grin on TJ’s face was somehow near audible, and then Cyrus’s phone went dark. He stared at it for a few moments before letting out an excited squeal and falling backward onto his bed.

“You alright, Cyrus?” His mom’s voice rang out from the kitchen, clearly having heard him squeal.

“I’m good!” he called back. “Just, uh, got a 100 on a hard test!”

“Good job, dinner in an hour!” she exclaimed, effectively ending the conversation.

Cyrus breathed out a sigh of relief, laying a hand over his racing heart and holding his phone to his chest.

“I just got a boyfriend,” he whispered to himself, turning onto his stomach and burying his face in his pillows. He grinned into the pillows he was laying against, moving so he could text Andi and Buffy.

**Greatman:** guess who just got a boyfriend!!!!!!

**Quack:** no way

**Quack:** tj really agreed to be your boyfriend?

**Buffering:** called it

**Buffering:** did i not call it

**Quack:** yes buffy you called it

**Buffering:** hell yeah i did

**Greatman:** y’all called shots on me?

**Quack:** ...hell yeah we did

**Greatman:** i don’t like you anymore

**Buffering:** hell no you don’t

**Greatman:** stop

**Buffering:** hell no i won’t

**Greatman:** Cyrus Goodman has left the chat.

**Quack:** you’re still active??

**Buffering:** hell yeah he is

_ Greatman has left the chat. _

**Buffering:** wait no

Cyrus laughed as he set down his phone, turning to his computer and opening the current draft of his and TJ’s debate. He grinned as he saw that TJ was active and editing his intro. TJ highlighted a section, commenting, ‘too gay? Too gay. Not too gay? Help’. Cyrus quickly replied, ‘In general? Never. But maybe when you’re arguing the homophobic side????’

He could almost hear TJ laughing as he watched the words disappear from the page, the ‘fair enough’ no doubt on his tongue, the ‘you got me there’ TJ was probably reciting in his head.

They’d known each other for years, had been classmates since kindergarten. They’d even been friends for a few years, sharing books and pencils every day. If he was honest, he’d had a bit of a crush on TJ since 5 th grade, but he’d given up on it the 8 th grade when TJ made a sudden 180. He went from sweet, bookish Theo to Terrifying, Toxic TJ Kippen over the course of a single summer. Cyrus had always wondered how that had occurred, but he’d never gotten the chance. Maybe he’d ask later, but for now, he just wanted to wrap his arms around his boyfriend and kiss him and fall asleep next to him and make sure he was always okay

He really wanted to make sure he was okay.

Naturally, he picked up his phone, typing out a text to TJ. After many,  _ many _ drafts, he landed on a few sentences. 

_ TJ Kippen has changed Cyrus Goodman’s name to Cy _

_ Cy has changed TJ Kippen’s name to Teej _

**Cy:** Hey, sorry for bothering you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay after that fight today at school?

**Teej:** don’t worry about bothering me, Cy. theres no such thing, i promise. and yeah, i’m okay. 

**Cy:** you sure?

**Teej:** yep, just a few bruises and cuts here and there.

**Teej:** ...though i wouldn’t mind someone kissing it better?

**Cy:** that could be arrange

**Cy:** d

**Teej:** Ah yes, Arrange D. My personal favorite of the various Arranges.

**Cy:** don’t make fun of me

He took a quick selfie of his best pouting face.

“Sorry, Andi, I win pouting,” he whispered to himself, sending it to TJ.

**Cy:** [image attached]

**Teej:** i’ll stop teasing when you stop pouting

**Teej:** and being adorable

**Teej:** and sending me selfies of you being adorable

**Cy:**  Could it be? TJ Kippen has a soft side?

**Teej:** I like you and all, but 

**Teej:** hush

**Cy:** rude

**Cy:** and after i helped you fix your too gay intro

**Teej:** i feel like that’s not where you want to aim

**Cy:** ?????

**Cy:** you were arguing con

**Teej:** yeah and it’s wack

**Cy:** yeah but 15 EC points

**Teej:** yeah but im gay

**Cy:** yeah but 15 EC points 

**Teej:** …

**Teej:** yeah

**Cy:** (:

**Teej:** cursed 

**Teej:** I have hw but see you tomorrow?

**Cy:** Yeah! Three day weekend, right?

**Teej:** ye we have tomorrow off

**Cy:** then we can go on our first date?

**Cy:** maybe we can grab food at the Spoon and bring it back to one of our houses? It’s gonna be cold tomorrow

**Teej:**  makes sense for mid-February

**Cy:** I wouldn’t be surprised if it was suddenly super hot

**Cy:** we live in Midwest

**Teej:** wait wasn’t it like 60 last week

**Cy:** I rest my case

**Teej:** yeah yeah 

**Teej:** i’ll pick you up at 11 tomorrow

**Cy:** sounds good (:

**Teej:** incorrect

**Cy:** ???

**Cy:** :)

**Teej:** Correct

**Cy:** (:

_ Teej has left the chat. _

**Cy:** :(

**Cy:** ):

_ Cy has left the chat. _


	4. Four

Cyrus grinned as he jogged downstairs for dinner, unable to keep the smile from his face as he set the table.

“You seem awfully happy for just a perfect test,” his mother gently teased. 

“It was… really difficult, I guess. Didn’t think I’d pass.”

“Cyrus, you pass every test you take. What’s going on, kiddo?”

“It’s really noth-” Cyrus’s head snapped toward the front door as a sharp knock rang through the house. 

“That would be your father and step-mother,” she said brightly.

“I’ll get it.” Cyrus nearly skidded out of the kitchen, opening the front door with a plastered on smile and a hug to both his parents. “Hi, dad! Sharon, nice to see you. Dinner’s just about ready.  I think it’s black bean burgers.”

“Your mom’s specialty! Color us lucky,” Sharon exclaimed, hanging her coat up and kicking off her shoes.

“Trust me, I’m the lucky one. Mom only pulls out all the stops when you guys come for dinner.”

“We’re honored, kiddo,” Norman said, hugging Leslie and Todd in greeting before sitting down to the table. “Thanks for inviting us, Todd! We haven’t had you two’s cooking in far too long.”

“Of course, we haven’t seen you two in a while.” Leslie set out glasses of ice water and sat down as Todd served dinner. 

“Alright, dig in!” Todd said, sitting down and putting a burger on his plate. They ate in relative silence for a few minutes, before Leslie spoke up again.

“So, Cyrus. Are you going to tell me what had you so happy before dinner?” 

“Hmm?” Sharon asked, glancing up from her meal. 

“Mom, it was nothing,” Cyrus grumbled, eyes trained on his food as he raised his glass to his lips. His parents all mumbled their disbelief as he absentmindedly pushed his food around on his plate. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting his thoughts drift to TJ - the way he kissed, the way he smiled, the way he looked at Cyrus. For a few moments, a grin made its way across his face.

“You’re still doing it now!” she pointed out.

“What, smiling? You act like it’s some kind of new revelation.”

“Well, yeah,” Leslie said. “You never seem to be all that happy.” His other three parents murmured their assent.

“Seriously?! I’m happy all the time, guys. I have amazing friends and a good life, but you guys don’t care because you don’t see it. God, you clearly haven’t been paying enough attention.”

“All we do is pay attention to you, Cyrus,” Norman protested.

“Oh, I’m sure. All that ‘paying attention’ and you never managed to notice that I’m gay,” he huffed, dropping his fork with a clatter against his plate. 

He pushed away from the table, mumbling an ‘I’m not hungry anymore’ and rushing upstairs and into his bedroom with a loud slam of the door. He took a deep breath, looking around and deciding he couldn’t stay in his room any longer. Before he could really think about it, he was unlatching his window, crawling out onto the ledge outside and, eyes screwed shut, latching onto the tree a few feet away. He scrambled down as fast as he could, pulling his phone out of his back pocket when he reached the ground.

He scrolled through his contacts to TJ’s, holding his phone between his ear and shoulder. 

“Cy?” TJ answered.

“...Hey.” Cyrus’s voice was thick as he fought back tears.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know yet. I just… Need to ask your address. Is it okay if I come over?”

“I- yeah, of course. You’re welcome here whenever you need.” As TJ recited his address, Cyrus typed it into his phone and started walking the short route toward his house.

“I’ll be there in 15. I’ll explain when I get there,” he said quietly.

“Okay,” TJ agreed. “Don’t knock at the front door, though. Just… My window’s on the first floor, around the right side of the house.  It’ll be open.”

“Okay.” Cyrus hung up, turning a corner and putting in a pair of earbuds. The first song to come on was Extreme Music’s ‘Chasing Stars’, to which he found himself openly crying to as he walked. When it faded out, he found himself reaching to restart it. He let himself melt into the lyrics as it looped, the beginning morphing into the end. 

TJ’s house stood at the end of the street, most of the lights already off. Cyrus followed TJ’s instructions, quickly finding his window and crawling through it.

“Hey,” he whispered. 

“Cy…” TJ breathed, wiping the tears from under his boyfriend’s eyes and wrapping him in a tight hug. “What’s going on?”

“I got into a fight with my parents. All four of them. At once… And I accidentally came out to them.”

“Oh, I- Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” Cyrus sighed, clearly willing himself not to cry as he looked into TJ’s eyes. 

“You’re gonna be okay, Cy,” TJ promised. He kissed Cyrus once before handing him a t-shirt and sweatpants. “You can get changed in the bathroom, if you want.” He gestured vaguely toward the door attached to his bedroom.

“Okay,” Cyrus agreed, eyes trained on his shoes. TJ sat down as he left the room, giving himself a mental pep talk.

“Quiz number one in how one goes about being a boyfriend,” he mumbled to himself. “I got this. You can do this, TJ.”

As TJ mentally prepared himself to help his boyfriend, he nearly managed to miss him exiting the bathroom, an earbud hanging out of one ear. TJ wordlessly stood up, ditching the script he’d tried to write in his head and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend.

They stood like that for their own miniature eternity, Cyrus breathing heavily into TJ’s shoulder. TJ never asked if he wanted to talk, or if he was okay. He knew the answer to both would be ‘no’, whether Cyrus admitted it or not.  He could vaguely make out the song playing out of Cyrus’s earbuds, though he couldn’t put finger on the title. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he breathed, so quiet his lips had to be nearly touching Cyrus’s ear to be heard.

“I know.” Cyrus pulled away, eyes shining with tears and warmth and fear and something else - love, TJ realized.

“What are you listening to?” TJ asked, voice still barely audible, following Cyrus and sitting down on his bed.

“I don’t know what it’s called, but it reminds me of you,” he responded, handing TJ the other earbud.

_ I told you to go left, then I went right _ __   
_ Though I told you that I loved you, you couldn't tell I was lying _ __   
_ 'Cause I put a spell on you _ __   
_ When I put my eyes on you _ _   
_ __ For the last time

TJ smiled softly as he watched his boyfriend close his eyes and take in the lyrics. He carefully wrapped his arms around him and shifted so they were somewhat laying down. He simply let them lay there in silence, listening to some vaguely romantic playlist. He could feel Cyrus crying gently, so he simply started to breathe deeply until Cyrus’s breaths matched his. 

“I got you, Cy.”

“I know.”

* * *

 

TJ woke to the angry, irritating tone of Cyrus’s phone ringing, and judging from the tired groan that sounded beside him, Cyrus did too.

“Hello?” he asked groggily, sitting up and glancing at TJ.

“Cyrus! Your mom just called to ask if you’re over here?” Buffy exclaimed in lieu of greeting, voice mildly trembling.

“What did you say?” Cyrus asked, clearly panicking as TJ sat up.

“I told the truth, dumbass. I’m not going to lie to your mother, that woman is terrifying!”

“Oh my God, okay… Do you think she’s already called Andi?”

“Yeah, both houses,” Buffy said. “Where the hell are you?”

“I’m…” He chanced a look in TJ’s direction, immediately regretting it as he was shoving his glasses on his face and ruffling his hair and Cyrus couldn’t form a coherent thought, let alone a phrase. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Cyrus.”

“Look, you- you already know where I am, don’t you?”

“You’re not.” Buffy wanted to not believe him, clearly didn’t want it to be true. “Cyrus, your mom…”

“I know, Buff, I know.”

“Um… Okay. You’re going to get the hell home before your mother finds you at Kippen’s, and you’re going to explain this mess to me while you run quite possibly for your life.”

“Mhm, yeah,” Cyrus agreed, scrambling to put on his shoes and find his things. 

“You think it’s gonna be okay?” TJ asked.

“I’ll call you back in a second, Buffy.” Cyrus hung up the phone, sliding it into his back pocket, ignoring Buffy’s protest. 

“What was that for?” TJ asked. Cyrus simply shook his head, reaching for his boyfriend and kissing him.

“Thank you for everything, TJ. I’ll call you later, assuming I still have my phone We might still be able to have our date, I don’t know.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, maybe.”

“Maybe,” Cyrus agreed, sliding out of the window with a single look over his shoulder. He dialed Buffy’s number a second time, breaking into a run toward his house.

“What the hell-”

“Sorry, Buff!” Cyrus apologized. “I had to say goodbye to TJ and it’s hard to juggle two conversations at once.”

“I’ll forgive you if you explain all of this,” Buffy offered with a somehow audible grin.

“I’ll take you up on that. So to make a really long story short, my parents and I got into a fight and I outed myself.”

“Oh my God, Cy. I’m so sorry,” Buffy murmured into the phone. 

“Don’t be, just…” Cyrus started sprinting faster, moving toward his house at record speed. “Tell Andi for me, okay?”

“Of course. I’ll talk to you later. I love you, Cyrus.”

“I love you more.” Cyrus slowed to a jog when he turned onto his block. 

He took a deep breath as he pushed his mom’s front door open. He found a near silent house waiting for him; the only person there was his dad, who was sitting in the living room.

“Hey, Dad,” he mumbled. Norman was all over him in a split second, tightly hugging him and kissing him on the top of the head.

“You’re okay,” he sighed, looking his son up and down. 

“Yeah.” Norman reached for his phone, texting Frank, Sharon, and Leslie to come home.

“Where were you!? Andi and Buffy said you didn’t stay with them.”

“I was- I stayed with Jonah,”

“We called the Becks, and they said they hadn’t seen you,” Norman said, crossing his arms. Cyrus suddenly took great interest in the bookshelf behind his father, stepping around him and picking up a copy of  _ The Complete Poetry of Robert Herrick _ .

“This is a good one, isn’t it?” he said, glancing at his dad as he flipped through it. “This one has ‘To the Virgins,’ doesn’t it? Yeah, here it is. I always loved this poem. In fact, I loved it so much I made you read it to me every night before bed.”

“I remember,” Norman said, moving to stand next to his son. “You stopped asking after the divorce.”

“I figured it was for the best, that maybe I should figure out how to live for myself, not someone else.”

“Why are you bringing all this up, kiddo?”

“Because I think I finally figured it out.”


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's super short, but I hope you like it anyway!

“So you’re saying that stunt you pulled was you ‘living for yourself’? How is that even remotely-”

“That’s not what I’m saying. I was scared and angry, and I’d just outed myself to all of you. I just needed a change of scenery.”

“Then why are you bringing all of this up now?” Cyrus simply shrugged. He put the book away and sat down next to his father. “So… You like boys?”

“Yeah. You can say ‘gay’, though.”

“How long have you known?”

“It as always there, I think. I always imagined my life with a girl when I was little, but something always felt wrong. I really liked Jonah when we were in middle school. I finally had to face it when I met Iris. She was perfect, save for the fact that she wasn’t a boy. Are the others okay with it?”

“Honestly? It’s going to take some time. I was the only one who was immediately okay with all of this. Your mom and step-dad love and accept you no matter what, but it’s going to take a bit of adjusting.”

“And Sharon…?”

“She’s confused, right now. I think she’ll come around soon.”

“And if she doesn’t?” Cyrus asked worriedly.

“Then you come first, always.” Norman took his son’s hands into his, squeezing them reassuringly. “I got your back, kiddo.” The front door swung open, Leslie, Todd, and Sharon all rushing inside. 

“You’re okay,” Leslie breathed, scooping him into a hug. “Where have you been?!”

Cyrus looked between Norman and Leslie with a sigh. “Alright, fine. I crashed with Iris,” he said, mortified at how easily the lie slipped off his tongue.

“Cy, why wouldn’t you just tell us that?” Norman asked, clearly suspicious. 

“I just didn’t want you guys to bother her parents about it- they’re dealing with a five year old boy and newborn twins. Not to mention me sleeping over.”

“That’s sweet, Cyrus,” Todd said. “Though incredibly stupid of you.”

“I know, I know.” Cyrus held his hands up in surrender. “Go ahead, punish me. Ground me, take away my phone, I get it.”

“Cyrus. I’m not going to punish you over one mistake like this. You’re safe and this is the first time you’ve ever done something like this. This is strike one kiddo, don’t screw up again,” Norman said.

“I won’t, I swear.” Cyrus was pretty sure that was a lie too, but he figured it’d be okay.

“Now that that’s all over,” Leslie said. “Cyrus, go up to your room. I’ll be up to talk to you in a minute.”

Cyrus nodded, jogging upstairs and sitting down in bed.

**Cy:** made it out alive and unscathed

**Cy:** and without punishment

**Teej:** seriously?

**Cy:** three strike rule ig?

**Teej:** ah, bless baseball and its grasp on american parenting

**Cy:** truly

“Hey, Cy?” Leslie knocked on the door, head poking through.

**Cy:** i have to go my mom’s here to talk 

**Teej:** :(((((

**Cy:** hush

“Who are you texting?” Leslie asked, watching Cyrus giggle slightly at his phone.

“Iris. Thanking her for letting me stay over,” he lied.

“Ah.” Leslie sat down next to him. “So… Crazy night, huh?”

“Yeah,” he said sheepishly. 

“Lots of things were said. Some of them weren’t the greatest.” Leslie squeezed Cyrus’s hand. “Why didn’t you tell us earlier?”

“I was just… Scared? And not ready.”

“I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t talk to me,” Leslie said quietly. “Do Andi and Buffy know?”

“Yeah, and Jonah.”

“When did you tell them?”

“I told Buffy first, in 7th grade at The Spoon. I told Andi at my Bash-Mitzvah, and I told Jonah at Bubbe Rose’s shiva.”

“So… three years ago? You’ve known for three years?” Cyrus shook his head.

“I’ve known since I was about 10, I think. I only faced it when I was 13.”

“Six years, really?” Leslie asked, burying her face in her hands. “That’s a long time to have to keep a secret like that.”

“It’s not as hard as you’d think.”

“It sounds like the kind of thing that’s exactly as hard as I think,” Leslie said. Her eyes were prickling with tears as her son shrugged.

“You get used to it, you know? It’s easier, now that I’m 16. At first, it was like I was hiding literally everything. I guess that’s because when I was 13, all Andi could talk about was boys.” 

“I’m glad you told us, if under undesirable conditions.”

“Yeah, me too,” he agreed with a small, somewhat unconvincing smile.

“So… Any boys you like?” Leslie asked, raising a suggestive eyebrow.

“Nah. I used to like Jonah, but I’ve been focusing on school, you know that.”

“Speaking of school,” Leslie said, taking the clue to change the subject. “How’s that debate project coming along?”

“Debate project…? Oh! Yeah, it’s great, of course.”

“And your partner. He’s not giving you any trouble?”

“Oh, no, he’s fine.” Cyrus bit back the urge to jump to his boyfriend’s defense, instead plastering a tight smile on his face.

“Okay, good. Don’t let that boy become a bad influence on you,” she warned.

“I won’t,” Cyrus said. His smile was a little too wide, voice a little too high, and he prayed she wouldn’t notice.

“I know you won’t. I’m just being a paranoid mother. It’s my job, you know.” She squeezed his hand with a wink.

“Yep, you have nothing to worry about, Mom.” Leslie patted him on the knee and stood to leave.

“Have you eaten anything today?” Cyrus considered his options, settling for the easiest way out of the conversation.

“Yeah,” he said, ignoring the way his stomach churned at how easy it was to lie to his own mother now. 

Or maybe he was just really hungry.


End file.
